


To Infinity and Beyond

by Usagismile



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 02:13:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17930870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usagismile/pseuds/Usagismile
Summary: A letter Lance writes for Allura.





	To Infinity and Beyond

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time writing anything outside of school for fun. Did this because I needed to get it out of my system. Hope you like it :') 
> 
> It kind of follows the plot but i added a little more of my story in it...if that makes sense......  
> ....
> 
> I don't know. 
> 
> Enjoy **nervous chuckling**

Dear Allura,

So many times I've wondered to myself if you still remember me. Your place in the stars and far beyond my reach, is your promise still in place? I cant help but to reminisce of all the things we've been through. All of the moments of whispered nothings against soft spoken lips. The need of being so close together that not even in eachothers embraces could we still be close enough. 

This love that you've left behind, leaves nothing but a mess of me. And I am so scared that you've forgotten me and I am so alone. In a room with the people who loved us, I become so very alone and i forget how to breathe and its like everytime someone opens the door to the house that used to be ours, I keep expecting to see you in that ugly sweater that you took from my closet and put a claim to it, and that look you gave me when you wore it; yours, I am yours.

Everyone is worried about me, but I try. I really do. I have my good days but when I feel even remotely and genuinely happy, there is a guilt that gets stuck in my throat and its hard to swallow. I miss you so much. But the stars carry you further away from me and i can feel it. I sleep on your side and I now understand why you steal the covers, its colder here. It's colder here without you, I don't understand how you did it. Loving me as if i was the only thing that truly mattered. Oh, how I wish it was I that clung to the stars, if only it was me. 

I am nothing compared to the smile you radiate, like a flower blooming in the spring with not a care in the world. I am nothing compared to the way you touch, the gentle caresses against my skin that my whole body shakes and burns as you trail your fingers from my crown to my heart, to the depths of soul; But lord those lips, how they carried your words, how they kissed mine, oh how they kissed mine. 

In the days that followed your passing, my body couldn't stop shaking. It craved to be held, to be kissed, to be reassured that one day I could come to love again. But you do not know that my hands that worshipped your body, your being, carved your body to memory. Every caress, every peak, every inch was committed into my mind like a map counting every mile until I found my way home. 

You were my home, my everything. Every spoken word, every breath I've taken and every tear I've shed was you in every form, but now that is gone and I have no idea of how long I can stay here with out you and ....

....I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.... I am so sorry....because I have....

And these words I write to you, my soul that I carve in this paper laid out for us, you and me ..... and Keith. Because he needs to know and I want you to know. I am sorry because I found someone who makes it a little easier to breathe with out you. I found someone who makes me feel the same way you did, I found a longer way home. And I am sorry for finding another person, another soul who is willing to count the stars, looking for you, just for me. 

There is an infinite void that you have left behind and it tears my heart in two, because I don't know if its okay, I don't know if it is allowed, for me to love the both of you equally the same. Somedays, when I'm wrapped in his embrace, I get this sick feeling that this, that what he and I have become, is wrong because I still have you. You, who is beyond my reach in the infinite vastness of space, time and love. And oh how I miss you when I look up and see nothing but the moon and stars taunting me, knowing what it has taken. 

But still, he holds me knowing I still love you, knowing that sometimes when I wake up I forget that he is not you and I whisper your name between our lips. He loves me despite the fact that when our bodies are tangled and the love is too sweet, my hands shake with the knowing thought that this is not the map I was meant to follow. But still he loves me, and I him. 

We were so young when we fell. I almost forgot the promises we made under that willow tree, with our names engraved with a heart big enough to engulf both of us. You taught me so much in the little time we had. You taught me to love deeper than I have ever had before, to love myself even if there were days that I simply could not. Your love felt like tattoos, etched onto my skin and every time he traced my imperfections and kissed away my insecurities, I can't help but to fear that he is erasing that physical part of you. 

The part of you that knew me better than I knew myself. I am so scared that he has repaired and repainted himself onto me and that I've allowed it with no hesitation, with no regret. And it feels as if I have forgotten you. I have that guilt that one day I will wake up and not remember how it felt when you pressed your lips to mine, how you spoke words of love under the stars and only the heavens knew what we've done, and your eyes, how so much in love they were with me, how they looked when you smiled and cried and got angry. How I miss your very essence, and sometimes I don't know how I can keep going. Its like there is this weight on my heart and it keeps it from beating and he has to breathe new life into me every.single.time. But the thought of getting to see you one day, to see that smile that will light up the heavens, that gets me through today.

Everyday I take for granted, every minute of every day I spend loving him. And every second of every minute of every hour, I spend thinking of you, that no matter how far the universe takes me, I will find you. I found you in this life and I will find you in the next and the one after that. I will follow you to the infinite and beyond.

-Love Lance


End file.
